I have not been on this thing in a while and I've probably gotten a little rusty when comes to posting my emotions on the internet for any stranger to see and comment on. I'm finishing up the last week of my summer semester and I'm a little scared about waht to do with tree weeks off. I'm sure I'll just work and have a few extea bucks in my pocket, but what will I do with my brain. I've gotten used to hiding from the real world behind the textbooks and computer screens. I know it's pathetic, but everyday I get up so that I can prove to myself and those around me that I will not be beaten. I look foreward to the kind words and applause that my professors give me and I only want more. As a young black male I have to work harder so that me being in the caporeal sense will not be the only thing that makes me who I am. No matter where you go in America racism is always there but it is shown in a different way. I could go on about this but it's the real point. The point is; without a role to play I feel lost. That is the reason I feel the need for definitions in a relationship, that is way I had to leave my last job, that is why I'm succesfull in school. My need for a place in society can work for me or against me. I must learn how to use this as a tool and know how to use it correctly. Freaud says that everythiong goes back to the id or ego, the driving force behind the things that you do and the neurosis that you have. Freaud also states that the most traumatic thing for a child to experience is rationality(???) FYI: he also consumed hella amounts of blow and fucked his patients.......